Thursday, October 2, 2008

Unglamorous Nereida Talks About Her Romance With Cristiano Ronaldo On TV

Plus-Size Nereida was recently on the Spanish show"¿Dónde estás corazón? (Heart,where are you?). She gets paid € 60.000 to do this interview. Speaking about her Spanish magazine El Semanal digital said "a young girls with black hair and without a hint of glamour". The black scrawl must have be the star of the show but a debate on Elena of Spain and Jaime de Marichalar has obscured her.






About sex

He is very good in bed. That's why I was with him". "We had sex the first night we met".

About Ronaldo

"He's a simple man, loving but lacking in maturity" and "He's very clean and orderly and loves cakes very much".

About fidelity

“I was faithful throughout our relationship but I’m not sure about him.I found text messages in Spanish one day on his mobile phone that made me suspicious.”

About Aveiro family

"There were some problems with his family as they were a little jealous. I blame Ronaldo's mum Dolores for the break-up".

About life with Ronaldo

"I began to to share my life with Cristiano and his ex brother-in-law.We played the PlayStation, we ate. A cleaning lady came to the home every day for a couple of hours, sometimes I stewed . Come on, a life of more ordinary". ""We never spoke about marriage, ever."

About Manchester

"The city is very sad and the nightclubs close early. I like to party since I was sixteen. But I'm not a "men searcher".

About Mallorca

It's an island where everybody knows everybody".

About Sergio Ramos

"I was just friends with him".

About her boobs

"I really don't understand why people's interest in my breast. It's not so big".

About the break up

"Cristiano dumped me by SMS after the holidays. He's a coward. I was devasted. He has thrown me away like a Kleenex ".

About Fernanda the Brazilian hooker

"He (Ronaldo) knows Fernanda but he doesn't see her for over a year".

About money

(Thanks to Paula and Amanda)



Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Plus-Size Nereida Goes to the Wrong Party




On Thursday 29 July 2008, Plus-Size Nereida wandered into the Palma Royal Nautical Club (Real Club Náutico de Palma) village thinking there was the traditional King's Cup sailing race (the party was being held wednesday). PorNereida was really disappointed when she realized she was at the annual journalists cocktail party. A few minutes later, she left the Club with with an unfriendly face. Still No boyfriend. Since she was dumped by Cristiano Ronaldo, Plus-Size Nereida cannot find a man on the same level as her ex.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Plus-Size Nereida Has A Tattoo Just Above Her Plus-Size Ass


...Just ask the girlfriend of the footballing legend, Cristiano Ronaldo. Or perhaps not. She, like many non-conversant in Japanese and Chinese, may believe her gruesome tattoos convey some deep mystical philosophic gem.

According to Tian Tang, the author of a website dedicated to disabusing such illiterates, Nereida Gallardo has actually tattooed her lower back with characters that can read "like a punchline for some anti-anal sex joke".

At best, he says, it is gibberish, mixing together some disparate Chinese characters. At worst, it is an offer printed in a bold line down her builder's cleavage to direct a "friendly army" on her "private self". (Source:guardian.co.uk)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Plus-Size Nereida Is Using The Post- Breakup Spotlight To Try To Get A Job - Not Nurse Assistant-


Dumped Twice Nereida decided to reveal to Portugal's best-selling newspaper Vidas sex details of her past relationship with footballer Cristiano Ronaldo, but only for € 45.000. She also pretended a contract with Portuguese agency Face Model to realis her impossible dream: be a model. The newspaper slammed the door in her face. But Plus-Size Nereida is not resigned. She'll go to Portugal where she'll try to sell her story.


Thursday, August 7, 2008

Poll Result: Who's Prettier? Nereida Gallardo or Paris Hilton?

Plus-Size Nereida won the poll, but only by 5 votes


Total Votes: 237


Nereida Gallardo - 121


Paris Hilton - 116



Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Lookalike

      Emmenthal Cheese        Nereida Thighs

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Plus-Size Nereida Watermelon Boobs : Sexy or Grotesque?














What Happy Mammaries Ronaldo

SEXY VULGAR Nereida Gallardo plays her best two strikers up front then takes a sensational dive that would even make ex-lover Cristiano Ronaldo proud ashamed.


The Spanish senorita might have been dumped by the randy winker, but she'd obviously picked up a few pointers from the 23-year-old Man Utd ace.

First she jumped from a luxury yacht off Ibiza—taking a couple of inflatables with her to stay afloat. Then Nereida, 25—who's had a boob job—nipped back on board to top up her tan with a girl pal.

An onlooker said: "She was having a fabulous time. She was sending a message of ‘look what you're missing' to Ronaldo." Silicone and Cellulite.

(Source: NOTW)

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Plus-Size Nereida Is A Disposable Woman


Nymphomaniac Nereida got fucked by another celebrity. The Mirror reveals
that the Spanish failed model had had all-night sex sessions with the Jamiroquai's singer when his band played in Palma, Majorca.

Last night her pal revealed: "It was two years ago. Nereida and another girl talked their way into the after-party and they immediately hit it off. He later took her back to his hotel suite."


Jay Kay declined to comment.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Plus-Size Nereida Photocall

The whole world seems to have forgotten that Plus-Size Nereida ever existed but The Sun. She show off her boobs to capture the attention of the media and the British tabloid is the only one interested in her big, huge fake tits.

Look at these photos:Dumped Twice Nereida is posing for the camera. This is a photocall.